Sleep

Well, I can't officially call it sleeping through the night, because I did have to get up at 1:30 and re-swaddle and re-binky him (I worry that maybe we're forming a habit???). But he did make it from about 7pm until almost 6am until he needed to eat again. So we got some pretty good sleep for a change. He was very hungry and mom's boobs were very full, but that didn't stop him from eating.

Christmas was loud. It was good. There were 8 kids ranging from 9 years to 9 months. The Boy got a little over-stimulated a couple times, but for the most part it was all good.

FILE UNDER: PARENTHOOD

9 1/2 Weeks

I really just wanted to have a post with that title. I'll even go so far as to cheat and post-date this for tomorrow morning at 1:32 am.

Yesterday at the Doctor's office, he weighed 16 lbs. 4 oz. They were kind enough to just write >95% for his weight percentile. At this rate, he'll be out of his infant carrier by 4 months! Our friends who have the exact same carrier used theirs until 9 months!

He also got 4 shots. He wailed at the time, but he calmed down in just a few minutes and then just slept a lot the rest of the day. He was quite the trooper! Thanks to those that recommended we give him Tylenol before the appointment, that may have helped.

FILE UNDER: PARENTHOOD

It's Not Whether You Win Or Lose.

The Blues won a game!!! Oh, wait, it was against one of the other worst teams in the NHL. Nevermind.

FILE UNDER: SPORTS

I Want A Jet Ski

I actually had to stop watching this for a minute because I was laughing so hard. I love Whose Line Is It, Anyway. This is definitely one of their funniest moments.

http://www.squizzle.com/movieview.asp?id=2191

FILE UNDER: HUMOR

8 Weeks

The Boy is 8 weeks old today.

I'm embarrassed to say we've lost something of his. We lost his neck. However, we did find one extra chin. And before it's all over, there may be more than one extra chin. I think we're about to lose his knees, also. But he's got enough thighs for 2 or 3 babies. He weighs 15 pounds and is 25 inches long.

(Speaking of long, when do you officially switch from "long" to "tall"?)

He rolls over from his tummy to his back, to his right all the time. He's done it to the left once. When he doesn't immediately roll over when we give him tummy time, he looks straight out, sometimes even up. He seems pretty fond of a particular stuffed dog. It rattles and squeaks and barks and crinkles and all that good stuff.

He definitely prefers mommy at this point, but we still have good times together. We read and play and get tummy time and watch some sports on TV (but not too much TV). I'm still managing to stay calm when he's having a fit. But it's much much harder when I myself am over tired. So I'm focusing on not getting so tired.

Since he never passed the hearing screening in the hospital, we had several follow up tests, OAEs and ABRs and what-have-you. The audiologist has diagnosed him with mild hearing loss at low frequencies. So when speaking at a normal conversation volume, he probably hears vowels and "m" & "n" & such more like a whisper. Whereas, "shh" & "s" & "t" & such are probably more normal. It doesn't appear to be just fluid or wax buildup. She is recommending hearing aids. We've spoken t an ENT once, and will speak with him again. We're also going to get another opinion. Of course, we'd break the bank for anything he needs, we just want to make sure he really needs it and that it will be beneficial. I learned that hearing aids are not covered by our insurance.

The Boy and The Wife (a.k.a. The Mom) left today to visit grandma for a couple days. I was really sad to see them go. Luckily, I got to come home at lunch and play with him and we even took a little nap together.

There are so many little things I want to post about on a daily basis so I don't forget them, but I just never get around to it. Plus, some things are just better live than Memorex.

FILE UNDER: PARENTHOOD

Baby Blog

Yesterday, I got to sleep in a little with mommy & daddy. After breakfast, we played in my room for a while. I had some good tummy time. I finally decided to go ahead and show mommy that I can roll over. I did it 5 times before I got really tired. I thought maybe I was being a little too mean by only rolling over when daddy was around. I took a long nap and then had second breakfast. I sat in bouncy chair while mommy and daddy hung giant socks and put up this big green triangle thingy. It has neat lights and shiny round things on it. It all seems a little weird to me, but whatever. Then they put me in that stupid torture chair and then put me in that big box on wheels. That's the last thing I remember for an hour or so. I know we went somewhere else and I missed out on a lot of fun, but I just couldn't stay awake. Mommy bought me this bitchin' Tigger coat/onsie thing. All the other kids will be so jealous. Lunch was good. Mommy makes really good meals. At one point, we sat in front of this big box with lots of colors and movement. It seemed like there were people running back and forth with some kind of ball. It was neat. The people in red seemed the happiest. That's cool because the people in blue and orange seemed kind of dorky. I had second lunch and thirdsies and took another short nap or two. Daddy laid on the floor next to me and read me three books. I hit him in the face several times to thank him.

FILE UNDER: PARENTHOOD

Break On Through To The Other Side

I had a total breakdown last night. He was screaming and I couldn't stay calm, which just made him worse. So I handed the little bagpipe to Mom and went on to have a screaming, crying fit of my own. Then I did some reading on anger management as it relates to being a parent, etc. I wrote down all my feelings and my plan. I have a zero-tolerance policy for my angry fits. They won't happen again.

I had a total breakthrough this morning. He was crying and screaming and arching his back. I stayed calm by speaking calmly to him. Telling him I really wanted him to stop. And that it makes me sad and mad when he does this. And that Daddy has him and was trying to fix whatever was wrong. Of course, he understands none of this. But saying it out loud is the release I needed instead of letting it build up and get me angry. And saying it calmly helped soothe him. I knew he had recently been changed, so didn't think that was the issue. He didn't seem cold or hot. I wasn't quite sure about gas. But he did seem to be hungry. So I told him we'd go see if the Booby factory was open or if I needed to heat a bottle. We found out the Booby factory would open in a few minutes, so we binkied and pinkied and managed to stay fairly calm until then.

FILE UNDER: PARENTHOOD

Roll Over, Beethoven

Before this morning, The Boy had rolled over on 3 separate occasions. All 3 being more accident than anything. This morning, he was having tummy time and after about 5 minutes, he rolled over. I put him back on his tummy and he immediately rolled over again. So I put him back on his tummy. He rolled over AGAIN. So I put him back on his tummy. This time, he was tired, so it took him a little longer, but he did it AGAIN. HOLY and SHIT! 4 times. Four. 1, 2, 3, 4, FOUR.

Next week we're going to the DMV to get his learner's permit.

FILE UNDER: PARENTHOOD

4 Weeks

Yesterday, The Boy was 4 weeks old. Sometimes it seems like it's only been 4 days, other times it feels like it's been 4 months. Overall, it's gone by quickly.

He accidentally flipped himself over from tummy to back the other day. He was pushing up with his left arm and gave this kick that just flopped him over. I know it was an accident, but it was cool.

He's peed on himself, the walls, mom's hair, etc. He spits up a lot. We think it's normal, but it seems like a lot. The Wife's going to mention it to the lactation folks. He seems to like motion. Walking, riding in the car, etc. I really like the Snugli frontpack/backpack we got. He seems to like it too.

He seems to be doing well. I weighed him yesterday, I know the bathroom scale isn't the most accurate, but he was 12 lbs.

It's possible that he has some mild to moderate hearing loss in at least 1 ear. We don't know much more at this point. We'll follow up in 3-4 weeks to learn more.

Sometimes he's just cranky, and that's very hard for me to deal with. I'm trying to learn how to stay calm when he's screaming at the top of his lungs, but it's very hard.

We didn't do a very good job of giving him his first real bath. The little tub started overflowing, then he was just sitting in poopy water. We'll have to plan better for the next one.

We're starting to function more, get things done, get out and about. That's nice.

The Wife is doing better. She still has some ailments, but she is slowly improving. She is very good with The Boy. She doesn't realize how good she is. I knew she would be a great mom, but it just really impresses me. She has made an amazing transition into The Mom.

This is the hardest thing we've ever done. It's crazy hard. But it's so very cool.

Sorry for the terrible flow of this post.

FILE UNDER: PARENTHOOD

This Just In

Just heard over the baby monitor (sung to the tune of...unknown):

Wake up, wake up. It's time to eat.
Wake up, wake up. Your fast asleep.
Wake up, wake up. There's a whole other Boob to eat.
[end of song]


Sometimes he's a little lazy about the eating. I think mom is just too comforting. Heck, I can't count the number of times I've fallen asleep with her boob in my mouth.

Editor's Note: The Wife just informed me that it's sung to a tune from the movie "Groundhog Day".

FILE UNDER: PARENTHOOD

The Crying Game

Any advice for coping with the crying fits?

FILE UNDER: PARENTHOOD

Amazing

We checked in to the hospital at 8pm on Sunday, 10/16/05. The plan was for The Wife to receive a cervadil equivalent at 10pm & 2am and then get pitocin at 6am. We started watching Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban at about 9pm. Apparently she was quite ready and just needed a little nudge. The 10pm cervadil equivalent started contractions about 10:30pm. She didn't get the 2nd. She got one dose of stadol (sp?) around 2am and that helped her sleep until about 4am. The second dose didn't help all that much, but she did get some rest. But it also made her groggy. She didn't get the 2nd dose of cervadil. She didn't get the pitocin. She stayed dilated to a 1 all night, but was making great progress in the effacing (thinning) department. At the nurse's shift change at 7am, all of a sudden she was dilated to a 5-6 and we had to decide about an epidural fast. So the nurse explained it to her. Then The Wife asked for the anesthesiologist to come explain it. He did and she decided to get one. It went well. One complaint I have is when he said she would feel a "zing", I didn't realize she would jump. So when she jumped, it kind of freaked me out. But everything turned out fine. By 8:15am, after she got the epidural, she was dilated to a 7. By 9:15, she was a 9. At 11:15, she started pushing. She ended up getting some pitocin at some point to strengthen the contractions. She pushed for 2 hours and 15 minutes, and The Boy was born at 1:32pm.

I wasn't going to watch. I wasn't going to cut. The nurse needed help holding The Wife's legs. So I helped. But I looked the other way. Except then I stole a peek. And then another. Then I was staring. Finally, I was ready to push the doc out of the way and pull him out myself. Okay, maybe not that much. But I did watch. I still can't believe how hard she pulled on him to get him out. It's a good thing his head is well attached. I'm still in shock at how big he is. The doc was surprised, too. She's pulling him out and there's just more and more coming. I couldn't believe how long he was. Then I cut the cord. I had no idea how much I would participate.

Then everyone started asking his name, but we weren't sure. One of the three could be eliminated right away, it didn't seem right. The other two were okay, but didn't quite ring true. So we held off. He is so strong, right away he was holding his head up for several seconds at a time, looking around. So I looked up names with "strong" or "strength" in the meaning. And when we got to it, it just sounded right. The funny thing is, it wasn't on our original list. Not even close. So we shocked everyone with our final decision.

Things went well and we came home Wednesday. One exception. He had some jaundice and the pediatrician said she'd send us home with a billi-blanket, a.k.a. wallaby. Only she didn't explain it at all. So when they brought it to us, it wasn't at all what we expected. But they explained how to use it. Told us to check his temperature when we changed his diaper. Said it might make him warm, but nothing about a fever. So we kept it on him constantly all night, like they said. The next morning, his armpit temp was 100.4. So I called the pediatrician and they directed me to take it anally. It was 101.1. They said come in. We freaked. At the office, it was 101.2. They also said he seemed a bit dehydrated. They checked us into Children's Mercy as a precaution. We totally freaked. His fever was gone by later that day and never came back. But they ran all kinds of cultures on him to be save. Blood, urine, spinal, etc. He had an IV. What a nightmare. All of the test results were good. So it was one of two things. A quick virus that came and went. Or the wallaby overheated him, the jaundice made him not eat as well, and the combo dehydrated him. We're super pissed that the pediatrician sent us home with that wallaby instead of treating it in the hospital since we were there. But on the other hand, it seems like it was all a blessing in disguise. We learned so much while we were in Children's Mercy that nobody else told us. Nobody told us we might need to supplement depending on how nursing was going. None of our classes, nobody in the delivery hospital, not the pediatrician, nobody. So when the fever fiasco hit and people started asking us what we were using to supplement (not IF we were supplementing, but what were we using), we were like WTF? Nobody fucking told us anything about this shit. So, we are so thankful to everyone at Children's Mercy. They were so helpful and so nice.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD, PARENTHOOD

Tired

This is really hard.

FILE UNDER: PARENTHOOD

The Boy

I have so much to type. I don't know where to start. I'll stick with the basics at first. If I have time, I'll go into the details later.

The Boy arrived at 9 pounds, 3 ounces, 21 inches long. Pretty damn big considering me and The Wife. We're now at home and getting settled in.

I've got so much more to say. But there's a lot of other things to do, like hold The Boy, and stare at him for no apparent reason. I wish I didn't have to go back to work.

This is amazing stuff.

FILE UNDER: PARENTHOOD

The Last Supper

Fuck. I just typed in a bunch of shit and accidentally deleted it.

Anyway. We had a date on Monday. Dinner at our favorite restaurant and then went to see The Corpse Bride. We had fun. We went out to dinner with friends tonight. (The one's that are 6 weeks behind us.)

We bought a few last things we wanted. A snugli backpack/frontpack. A Pack-n-Play. A Dr. Brown's bottle. I installed a dimmer light switch in The Baby's room. I tightened up the rocker we bought at the garage sale.

The Wife's sister had a baby boy on Friday. She told us by announcing she has a box of girl clothes for us (this is their 5th child). Since it seem unlikely that any of her sisters will have more kids, The Wife is happy about having the last baby.

21 hours. 13 minutes.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Police Brutality

The police made The Wife cry. Those bastards. We had an appointment to make sure the car seat is properly installed, but nobody was there that could do it. While we completely understand that people get called out on emergencies, you would think they'd have someone there dedicated for that if they actually make an appointment.

4 Days. 7 hours. 23 minutes. (until hospital check-in)

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Hockey, It's Good To Have You Back

Woo. And. Hoo. Hockey is back. All 30 teams played on opening night Wednesday night. And thanks to a free preview of NHL Center Ice, I got to watch a crap load of hockey. It would have been a shit ton, but we had a breastfeeding class from 7 - 9. (No, that's not a complaint. More on that later.) It was so freakin' cool. There was so much hockey on TV that I didn't know which game to watch. I was like a baby in a topless bar. I'm not even that upset that the Blues lost. Well, okay, yes I am. But the sheer volume of hockey I got to watch is easing the pain. The Wife was thrilled, too. If your definition of thrilled is "completely indifferent" or "couldn't care less". And I have to say, I was quite pleased with the way the refs were calling the games, based on the new rules.

The breastfeeding class was interesting. We learned quite a bit. I guess I don't have anything more to say about it. I'm glad we went.

FILE UNDER: SPORTS, PRE-PARENTHOOD

I is what I is

Stolen from KD

• Micah is a great looking guy who likes to play music, and we all like him
• Micah is being taken down by the man
• Micah is a George Bush
• Micah is a shortened form of Micaiah which means "Who is like unto the Lord?
• Micah is the 6th of the 12 books of Minor Prophets in the Old Testament
• Micah is a Word Divinely inspired from God
• MICAH is committed to strive for quality public education in the city of Milwaukee
• Micah is an independent producer, writer, critic, and radio host from Portland,Maine
• Micah is a 9 year old boy with mixed spastic dystonic quadriplegia cerebral palsy.
• Micah is the "man"
• Micah is free

I did 11 instead of 10, but what the hell. That was amusing.

Thirteen days left. Holy. Shit. Balls. I suppose we're as ready as we can be. Bags are packed. Car seat installed (inspection to follow soon). Birthing class complete. Newborn class complete. Breastfeeding class this Wednesday. List of names not finalized but narrowed. Every second consumed with thoughts of baby-ness. Here we go.

The Wife's rib-spreading pain is back today. Don't really know if that's what it is, but it's the best guess. Other than that, she's doing well. She's ready to be done.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Fortuitous Doggie Walk

Well, the hockey game last night was great. It was so good to see live, professional hockey again. What a great game. The new dimensions, the new trapezoid, the 2-line pass, the tag-up offsides, all of that seems fine. Really didn't seem to change the game that much. They've succeeded in reducing the number of icing calls by saying the team doing the icing can't do a line change. So that helped keep the game moving. However, and this is what I feared the most, they completely countered that by calling more penalties. If the NHL wants to keep the game at a fast pace and keep scoring high, that's great. But don't then turn around and start calling more penalties. Anyway. Regardless, it's hockey and I love it. DAMN I hope they bring me a NHL team to the new arena.

I took the doggies for a walk yesterday and found a glider rocker at a garage sale for $40. I'm practically dragging the dogs I'm going so fast to get back to the house and get The Wife. I call once, no answer. I call twice and get a confused, "Hello?". I guess she was napping.

"Put your shoes on, there's a glider rocker for sale."

"Huh? Uh, well, where? What?"

"Just put your shoes on, I'll be there in a second."

"Uh, Okay."

So we ran, errrr, waddled very quickly, down to the garage sale. It's not the best, but it's comfy and it works. So I offered the gal $35 and she took it. Fortuitous doggie walk, indeed.

Oh, and The Baby ate the part of The Wife's brain that stores her ATM PIN. Luckily I was with her and had my card and The Baby is not eating my brain, yet.

FILE UNDER: SPORTS, PRE-PARENTHOOD

Swimfan

The Wife really enjoyed swimming this weekend at the lake. She's going to check out the YMCA tomorrow. I scheduled her for a spa day next week. A massage and some other stuff.

We had the second birthing class. I didn't watch the graphic parts. Maybe I'll change my mind when we're there and it's my wife, but at this point, I still don't want to see. We're learning to breathe and about the different stages. We've got a newborn class this Thursday.

We meet with another pediatrician next week. Seems like it might be tough to pick one.

We had our hospital pre-registration and a tour. It all seemed good. The rooms are huge.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

7 Things

At KD's request (I normally can't do your lists, but I think I can do this one):

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1. Travel to Europe
2. Raise the best child(ren?) I can with The Wife
3. Worry less
4. Own NHL season tickets
5. Learn to play the harmonica
6. Own a house = no mortgage
7. Learn to be a better dancer

7 things I can do:

1. Play soccer
2. Fix computers
3. Play foosball
4. Water ski
5. Snowboard
6. Make the vein in my hand wiggle like a worm by moving my finger
7. Gleek

7 things I cannot do:

1. Whistle (well)
2. Sing (well)
3. Dance (well)
4. Differential Equations (Calc I - III was fine, but DiffEQ kicked my butt)
5. Lie to The Wife (my cheeks puff up like a squirrel hoarding nuts)
6. Barefoot water ski (never tried)
7. Levitate

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1. Sense of humor
2. Common sense
3. Easy going
4. Red hair
5. Boobs
6. Nice Butt
7. Nice Legs

7 things that I say most often:

1. What the fuck?
2. Dude (in all it's various forms)
3. I'll ..... (repeating the last phrase said with a sexual overtone regardless of context. Ex. "I'll fluff your pillow.")
4. I'm like ...
5. Well, clearly (or, Obviously)
6. Riiiiiiiiiighhht
7. That's jacked up.

7 celebrity crushes:

1. Audrey Hepburn
2. Gillian Anderson
3. Nicole Kidman
4. Alyson Hannigan
5. Angie Everhart
6. Demi Moore
7. Mia Hamm

7 people I want to do this:

I don't have 7 blogs I read.

Baby Doctor / Baby Date

I had some mild panic attacks today thinking there's not much time left. Perhaps brought on by class last night. Pack. Schedule induction. Pick names. Pick a doctor. Circumcision. Only 5 weeks. Deep breaths. Calm. Woooo-saaaa.

Baby Doctor. No, not like Doogie Howser. As in "baby daddy", "baby momma", etc. You know, "baby doctor". As in, we're trying to pick one. I called one office today to set up a new mom visit. The scheduler was kind of cranky, which turned me off. But we'll meet with them and see how it goes. I stopped by another office and got some information about them as well. They have a "sick waiting" and "well waiting" side to their waiting room. Cool idea.

Baby Date. Well, unless this dude(ette?) decides to come sooner, we check into the hospital on 10/16/05 @ 20:00 Central. Induction will begin the next morning. I guess if between now and then something happens that determines it should be sooner or later, we'll adjust accordingly.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Baby Learnin'

Well, we got quite a bit of loot from her baby shower. More than what I expected. I guess we're just about as ready as we can be, as far as stuff goes. Now we're gonna go get our learn on tonight. We've got our first of 4 birthing classes tonight. And then next week we've got a newborn care class. Why do I feel like I'm back in college, cramming for a final exam?

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

5 weeks, 2 days -ish

The Wife has a Baby Shower today. After that, we'll be able to make our list of stuff we still need and go shopping.

Swelling of the hands and feet is now a regular problem. It's not as bad as her sister had it, but it's still annoying and painful. She's also got a pain in her foot, possibly related to the swelling or maybe just because The Baby happens to be pressing on a nerve that affects her foot. She told work that she's done either this coming week or next, but I'm not certain she'll be able to go that long if her foot doesn't get better.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

How About Wednesday, at 9:53am?

The last Doctor visit went well, everything seems to be normal. She said that the circumcision decision (if it's a boy) shouldn't really be based on any medical reason and is primarily a personal decision. So I guess we've got to think about that.

One thing she did seemed kind of weird, let me know what you think. She gave us some dates to pick from for a scheduled induction. One was the given due date, one was 3 days after, and the others were 7 days before and 4 days before. She said she doesn't like to go too long because of potential complications. I didn't know we'd actually be trying to schedule this, I thought it would just happen.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Experiment

So I've frequently been waking up around 4am and can't go back to sleep until 5:29a, just in time for my 5:30a alarm. Which makes me feel like I didn't sleep at all. So today I'm just getting up and seeing what happens.

FILE UNDER: THINKING

Dinner Conversation

Me: "Does it hurt your feelings or make you mad or anything if I decide I don't want to watch The Baby being born, or catch, or cut the cord, or anything? I mean, I might change my mind when we get in there, but at this point, I'm thinking no."

The Wife: "No, I just don't want it to be something you regret missing out on. You know, I don't really *want* to *have* it, but I don't have much of a choice in the matter."

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Man-Slave, Peel Me Some Grapes!

We're now to a point where The Wife gladly accepts help tying her shoes and has mentioned that shaving her legs might be in my near future. I've also made the suggestion that she sit down while drying her lower half after a shower. I thought that would be safest for all involved after watching her precariously balancing on one foot (after she was out of the shower, at least) and then strain to get her other foot up on the counter.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Letters To The Editor

The Wife has requested a clarification. "Quite a snore" does not mean an obnoxiously loud, keep-me-up-all-night, shake-the-walls snore. She's gone from almost never snoring, to snoring most every night. But it's not very loud, just something new.

She worked 4 days this week instead of 3 and that caused a little too much swelling in her legs, so she told them to cut her back to 3. The response she got was, "Oh, I didn't realize I started scheduling you for 4 days.". Right. Sure. 'Cause there are so many with the same name (only 1), and so many people to schedule, and you do it so far in advance (less than 1 week). Anyway, they cut her back to 3, so that's good.

Baby still moves like crazy. Still no name decisions. Not much else to report.

Something I have been thinking about. We love our dogs. They are our "kids". Neither were supposed to get so big according to the shelters, but we now have 55lb. & 75lb. dogs. Inside dogs. And they're clean. Well, as far as dogs go, anyway. But they get so much hair everywhere. And we brush them pretty frequently. I don't think I could ever bring myself to make them permanent outside dogs. But I sure wish our house was laid out where we had like a basement entrance, like a mud room type of thing that could be the dog room so the rest of the house wouldn't get so hairy. There are certain rooms they can't go in. Anyway, I'm just rambling.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD, THINKING

Sawing Logs

Testing the Blogger pic upload thing I just noticed.

Also, The Wife has developed quite a snore. Sometimes she wakes herself up.

Oh, and with my last post, I started receiving spam comments, so I had to add an extra step for those who want to leave a comment. Hopefully that will help. Sorry for the inconvenience for those of you with legit comments.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Baby Room Photos

000_0017
Originally uploaded by polesposition.

Here are the baby room photos. I don't use flickr much, so I'm not sure how this post will turn out.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Burn Baby Burn

That was the subject of an email I got from The Wife last week when she was having really bad heartburn. Tums and Tylenol weren't helping, but the Pepcid Complete seemed to help. I don't think she's had as much trouble with it since then. Knock on wood.

Her sister and mom came up this weekend and helped her paint the baby room. It's pretty cool. I'll try to get around to posting some pics. So now we just have to put a baby in there.

We looked at glider rockers yesterday. Damn those things are expensive. We're thinking of alternatives at this point.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Snubbed

Changing Table, Check. $100 @ Baby Depot / Burlington Coat Factory.
Matching Dresser, Check. $150 @ local furniture store.
Mostly matching crib, Check. Free from sister-in-law.

Yaaayyy!

Also, we went to a different grocery store this weekend, hoping for a better selection of lunch meat. And we got it. Since it was a store we weren't familiar with and since we didn't have a list, we were going up every isle to see what we needed. But when we got to the isle of frozen deserts, I looked up the isle, decided we didn't need anything, and moved on. I heard The Wife announce, "We snub you, isle of frozen delights.". Maybe you had to be there, but it was quite amusing.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD, THINKING

Single Digits

The Baby had The Wife's stomach all out proportion last night. Normally, it's just a perfectly round belly. But The Baby decided to camp out on her lower left side for a while and it looked crazy because her stomach was now oblong and catty-wompass instead of round.

I chose Jimmy Buffett's Defying Gravity as the song to sing to The Baby. I'm not sure if The Baby hates it or loves it, but it sure moves like crazy when I sing it. I wish I had a cool-guy Radio Blog like KD so I could upload it and you could hear it, but I don't. Now I want to learn to play the Harmonica part of the song. I haven't been able to find the sheet music for it yet, maybe I can figure it out by ear. Any suggestions?

If we're going with the due-date of 10/16/05, then today marks the official day that we have entered the single-digit weekly countdown. We're getting closer to ready, but still have a fair amount to do. We managed to choose an infant seat / stroller travel system to register for. I guess we'll also register for a convertible seat since that's what they recommended. The Britax one's seem really nice, but based on Consumer Reports, there are others that are just as safe that are half or less than half the price.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Overload

We tried to go register for baby stuff but we didn't have a plan and we hadn't done much research before hand. What a nightmare. So much shit. And so many different kinds of the same shit. Convertible car seat / infant car seat / travel system / umbrella stroller. Straight bottles / angled bottles / baggie bottles. Hundreds of different nipples and binkies. We actually left one store without even scanning one thing.

So, we sat down and talked about how we planned doing things to maybe help narrow it down. That seemed to help and I guess we'll have to go back soon and sift through all that junk to figure out what we want / need.

There's just so much crap to do and think about. I guess we'll figure it out. It's been done a bajillion times before.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Turtle Surprise

The Wife called herself a beached whale the other day when she couldn't get off her back. I said that was really more like a turtle. She agreed, sort-of.

Her 30th birthday is 8/16/05. We had a surprise party for her yesterday. It was great. The rouse was a family baby shower at her sister's house about 45 minutes away. And then they would come back this direction to go furniture shopping and I'd have them swing by to get me. Except she didn't know about that second part of the plan until yesterday. The Wife said she was a little suspicious, because she thought, yah, I'll be gone all day and then have a party tonight. But her family played it cool and didn't act like there was any set time to leave. And when she called me to find out what I wanted to do and when, I was very nonchalant. "Yah, I'd like to go, just come by and get me whenever."

So she gets here, leaves her mom and niece in the running car, comes in and says, "You ready? Let's go."

"Yahhhh, come see what your dogs did in the back yard today."

"Okay, but mom and Kendall are in the car!"

"I know, it will just take a second."

I didn't realize she was carrying cake from the baby shower, and as she's walking through the kitchen, she starts to put it in the fridge, with all the party food (all the guests are out back).

"HERE. I'll get that!" As I accidentally stab her hand with my thumbnail. I've lost all my play-it-cool at this point.

She steps outside to a ton of people and, "SURPRISE!".

"Oh. Wow." Then she turns to me, "But mom and Kendall are in the car."

"No they're not, they're coming in."

"But everyone's going furniture shopping."

"No they're not, they're coming here."

"Oh."

Heh-heh. Even though she was suspicious earlier, she had completely dismissed the possibility, never suspecting her family was in on it.

It was good fun. I even made homemade ice cream like she requested.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Good Times

The Wife says, "Having kids must be great, 'cause I can't imagine anyone doing this more than once."

Editorial Note: This post is as much for my amusement as it is for The Wife to go back and read some day when she brings up having another kid.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

The Waiting Game

The Baby Dr. appointment yesterday went well. She ask if we had a pediatrician and if The Wife wanted an epidural. We didn't know the answer to either. She recommended someone, and told us we could talk to the anesthesiologist about the epidural.

The Wife is low on Iron, so we got some OTC Iron for her to take in addition to the pre-natal. She just loves taking pills (not), so she's excited about that.

Everything seems normal, we're seeing the doctor every two weeks now. Which is kind of painful because they always seem to be behind schedule. They always seem to have some lame excuse like, "She had to deliver a baby earlier, so she's behind schedule.". ;-)

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Baby Says, "I'm King Of The World"

The Baby is getting bigger and it likes to ride way out front. From the back, you'd be hard-pressed to tell if The Wife is pregnant. And from the front, it might just look like she's a little pregnant. But from the side, there's no denying it.

It's fun to feel The Baby move and talk to it. It's really neat when it moves after I say something. I'm having a hard time picking the song I want to sing to it. It will definitely be a Jimmy Buffett tune, but the 2 or 3 I really like really center around being a boy or a girl. So I'm trying to pick a gender-neutral song. Yah, I know. Silly. But, whatever. I'll figure it out here soon.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

hiccough

The Baby got the hiccoughs today. I didn't get to see it, but The Wife said it was funny.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Tice

The Baby is eating The Wife's brain. Today she made a comment about the four vowels in the alphabet. It didn't take her long to realize it, but it was too late. It had been said and I couldn't let it go.

And then there was Saturday. We went to a kiddie water park in Columbia named Pirate's Cove at Twin Lakes. We met her fam there for a kiddie B-Day party. It was fun. Anyway. As we're walking to the entrance, I hear her say, "No Tice? What's that? No Tice? What's a Tice?". So I start looking around trying to figure out what she's talking about. I say, "You mean that sign right there in front of us? The one that says 'NOTICE'?". She tried to come up with some explanation, but I couldn't hear her over my own laughter.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Leg Cramps, Butt Aches, and Heartburn, Oh My!

Although The Wife is feeling pretty good during the day, there have been a few nights when she wakes up with leg cramps. Which sucks because she can't reach her feet with her legs straight. I try to help if I wake up, otherwise she's left to try some crazy Cirque du Soleil move to get rid of it.

Although she'd probably tell you I'm the primary pain in her ass, it wasn't me this weekend. We stayed at my dad's and I guess the bed just wasn't right because she had butt pain. Like top of the butt/hip, like a knotted muscle kind of thing. I know it's juvenile, but it's really funny to hear someone say, "Will you rub my butt?".

We were back in our own bed last night. That eliminated the butt ache. But it was replaced by heartburn. Ugh.

On a happy note. We had a blast at the lake. I got to ski several times, and now my body is punishing me. But it was worth it. I realize in the grand scheme, 31 isn't old, but it sure feels like it sometimes. Damn I love to ski. That will be one of the things I miss the most when I get too old to do it. There's just nothing like laying over as far as you can, cutting back and forth, watching the sun light up the spray. And The Baby got to ride in the boat, so that was good. I kind of wish The Baby was going to be born in-season so it could go on a boat ride right away. I was on a boat at only a couple weeks old. Oh well, we'll just have to do it first thing next season.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD, SPORTS

A Fool And His Data

We got some good loot from some friends who had a baby a couple months ago. He's already outgrowing some of his stuff. Some of it is not gender specific, and some is, but still, it's FREE!

We now have most of a plan for the baby room and the new spare bedroom. Now we just need to start working on it.

Our big dog (75 lbs.) hates fireworks. They make her a nervous wreck to the point she won't even go to the bathroom. She just wants to be inside and far away from them. The little one (55 lbs.) doesn't like them either, but she mostly ignores them except for the really loud and bright ones.

Our computer is back up and running, complete with a 300GB external drive for backups. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD, DOGS RULE, GEEK

Movement (delayed post)

At about 21-22 weeks, The Wife was having trouble telling the difference between bubbles in her stomach and The Baby moving. At this point, about 25 weeks) there's no doubt it's The Baby moving. I can hear it and feel it when I put my head on her stomach. I can even feel it with my hands sometimes. It's amazing. I also think that sometimes, when The Baby is in the right spot and I'm listening to The Wife's belly, I can hear The Baby's heartbeat, ever so faintly. The Wife and The Doctor think I'm crazy, but what the hell do they know?

We had our second sonogram. This time it's not just a dot. It's a real baby!!! That was cool. It was moving & waving & moving it's mouth. All sorts of stuff. We did not find out the gender, so we'll just have to wait and see what comes out. Literally. Well, not me. No. Someone else will be watching it come out. I'll just get to see the end result. Later. After it's come out.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Vacation Good, PC Bad (delayed post)

Texas was good. We had fun. It was nice to see my brother and his family. Sea World was really very cool. We did it in 2 days which was a good plan. It could've been done in one, but I bought the 2-day passes on the Internet, and they were only another $4. That way, when we got hot in the afternoon, we called it a day and went back to the pool and swam. We had a lot of fun swimming. In fact, we had a lot of fun in general. Then we went back the next day, saw the stuff we missed, and saw the really cool stuff a second time. Getting to pet and feed the dolphins was very cool for me. And watching those people interact with the whales was amazing.

Oh, at one point The Wife kind of forgot she was pregnant and tried to "hop" out of the pool by throwing one leg up on the side. She kind of teetered on the edge for a second before she was able to get enough ooomph to make it out. I recommended she use the stairs or ladder from then on.

Then when we got back, the PC wouldn't boot. I knew it was the hard drive or the controller card. Turns out it was the hard drive. I've still got a guy trying to recover the data, but it's looking like a lost cause.

FILE UNDER: THINKING, PRE-PARENTHOOD

I suck

We were on vacation for a week, came back, PC busted. Big time. I don't know if it was lighting, a surge, or just it's time, but my hard drive is dead. I even tried swapping out the circuit board because the platter was spinning, it just couldn't seem to read anything. No luck.

So, I'm re-building. And between trying to recover from vacation, work being busy, and a lot going on around the house (painting, windows, doors, etc.), it's taking me longer than I should. It's also keeping me from posting baby updates. There's a lot to tell, and I'll get to it soon.

FILE UNDER: GEEK

Speedy Delivery

The Wife keeps hearing about all these women she know who have an easy delivery. She's really hoping to start hearing about some miserable ones because she's convinced that if all she hears about how easy it is that Murphy's Law will kick in and she'll have the worst one ever.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

ROTS - Comments

I don't consider anything I've written below to be a spoiler. But if you're completely paranoid about reading any potential spoilers, you might wait to read this after you've seen ROTS.

Despite the fact that I knew Anakin would become Darth Vader, it still broke my heart to watch it unfold. The way it happened. The things he did. The fact that Darth Vader was no longer just some bad guy in a black suit. In the original Trilogy, he was just that bad guy and that's how it was. No big deal. But to see him transform and to know that Darth Vader could have been prevented. And to know that some evil bastard took advantage of his adolescence and his hard life. It was just sad.

The movie was amusing and suspensful. It was visually captivating. The whole movie brought such closure to so many things.

I truly enjoyed it and I look forward to seeing it again in six hours.

FILE UNDER: GEEK

It's Official

I scored some mega-points with the careful wording of the following comment.

"Yah, I'd say that you are officially showing."

The points were awarded for wording it so that it didn't come off as, "you're getting bigger".

The topic came up because I guess some gal said to The Wife something like, "...yah, when I was pregnant...", yet there had been no mention of the fact that The Wife is currently pregnant.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

ROTS

I'm going to see Revenge Of The Sith in 30 minutes. Very excited.

FILE UNDER: GEEK

That was crazy, dog.

The Dogs have always been a bit strange. Getting a second dog was a great idea. These two girls are the best of friends. They love to play and snuggle and all that stuff.

It has always been a bit weird when they make out. They're like french-kissing teenagers. And when one cleans the other and I'm in the room. Well, I just feel like I'm invading their privacy. But this latest thing is too much for me. Golden doggie showers.

Yah, I know.

Out of the past 10 walks we've went on, I'd say 8 or 9 have resulting in one peeing on the other's head at least once. They're both sniffing the same spot, nose-to-nose, and then one spins around, hikes their leg (yah, they're both girls. like I said, they've always been a bit strange), and just pees before the other one moves. And it happens so fast, it's over before we can even think to stop it from happening. Ugh. It's amusing and wrong, all at the same time.

FILE UNDER: DOGS RULE

Feed Me!

The Wife has apparently been possessed by Audrey II. After we got home from walking The Dogs tonight, she sits down and commands, "Feed Me!".

Gotta run, time to flip the fish sticks and tater tots.

FILE UNDER: THE WIFE

Baby Room

It seems like there's not much to write about lately, like there aren't a lot of new developments. Maybe I'm just getting used things so I don't think about writing about them.

As far as I know, The Wife is still on a streak of feeling good. She should be sitting down more during the day at work, but she's in retail, so that's tough. But with all the changes lately, her job description isn't much more than, "stand here until someone needs something", so I'm thinking "stand" could be replaced with "sit". She just needs to get some kind of a stool or a chair. Maybe that would help her ankles, which are a bit swollen at the end of the day.

I guess we really need to get going on the baby room. Get it cleared out and painted and ready for furniture. Maybe we can do a little of that this weekend.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Happy Pre-Mothers Day

You would think it would be easy to buy a hammock. You'd be wrong. We went to 5 different stores to compare styles and prices and ended up buying the stand from one store and the hammock from another. But we got one. And we used it. And it's good. The Wife has wanted one for a while now, and I figured that would be an okay pre-mother's day gift. Something for relaxing. Since everyone tells us there will be no more relaxing after October.

I also got her a white picture frame that holds two 4x6 pictures. I decorated the frame with some markers and put a sonogram picture in the top and a picture of the dogs in the bottom. She woke up to it on her bed stand Sunday morning. That was cool.

She's not quite used to her bigger boobs. Several times on Saturday when we were out, she made sudden turns, slamming her boobs into me, practically knocking me to the ground (isn't exaggeration fun?). And the funny part is that she was oblivious to it. I pointed it out to her later with this same caveat -- This is NOT, I repeat NOT, a complaint. I'm relatively pleased with the situation, actually.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Damn It Was A Good Day

To quote Ice Cube. Too bad I don't have a radioblog setup, I'd definitely have that track in there.

The Wife had a good day today. Felt good, felt peppy and upbeat. Hopefully that trend continues.

I got head-butted (is that a word?) in my soccer game on Tuesday. At least that's what they tell me. I went up for a header, and won the ball, but the next thing I know, I landed on the ground horizontally and just kind of laid there in a lot of pain. I've got a lovely black eye and my cheek is swollen. And it's messing with my teeth. It's some kind of combination of my bite being off a little, and some of my teeth feeling numb. Oh, and there's blood in my phlegm. Other than that, I'm perfect! (name that film quote).

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD, THINKING

15 weeks 5 days

The first time we listened for the heartbeat several weeks ago, it could barely be heard. So much that The Wife didn't hear it, and it's possible that I just imagined it. Today, the Dr. had a med student with her and the med student was all over the place with that microphone thingy and couldn't find it. So The Doc stepped in and found it pretty quickly and it was super loud. WHUUW-WHUUW-WHUUW-WHUUW-WHUUW-WHUUW. Man, that was pretty cool. The Wife was ecstatic. She needed that. It seemed like a little reward for everything she's gone through so far.

Oh, and according to some Chinese zodiac calendar predictor whozit whatzit, she's determined that we're having a girl. Speaking of that, the more we talk about it, the more we're thinking of not finding out if The Baby is a boy or a girl ahead of time.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

The Itchy And Scratchy Show

The Wife's butt itches. A lot. All the time. Without relief. And while I do feel bad for her and wouldn't want to be on "her end" of the situation, it's really just too hilarious not to laugh, or to blog for that matter. Because I'd hate to forget about this, that would be a shame.

Before I got home, The Little Dog (relatively speaking at 58 lbs.) puked tonight, and that made The Wife puke. But she mustered up the strength to clean it up. And I truly appreciate not having to clean up dog puke first thing when I get home.

Tomorrow is our fourth wedding anniversary. Sometimes it seems like it all started yesterday, other times it seems like it should be our fortieth. There could be no more perfect woman for me. Thanks to her for being her, and for liking me for being me.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Get Away (part deux)

We went to Eureka Springs, Arkansas, this past weekend. It's a small town carved into the very steep hills of the Ozark Mountains. It's an old town, but it's clean and quaint. The streets are narrow, steep, and windy. It's fun to walk around the historic downtown area and see all the shops. I suppose it would be more fun if you enjoyed shopping. But still, we had a great time just hanging out together, with no real schedule to stick to. We drove out to a lake and then had dinner at The Horizon, a very small, nice little restaurant looking over the lake. Then we drove around and found this old, one-lane suspension bridge. That was very cool, for me. The Wife didn't like it so much. But she won't even step on a metal grate in the sidewalk. We stayed at The Palace Hotel and Bath House. The nice part about it was that it was in town, but on the edge of town, so there wasn't a lot of hub-bub around it. And there are only 7 or 8 rooms, so it wasn't real busy, and we were looking for something a little more cozy and private. If we went back, we'd stay on the upper floor so we wouldn't hear the people above us. We each had a massage in the bath house on Sunday. It was nice, but what we've come to realize is that the day spas that are built into these old bath houses have nice services, but it's a completely different atmosphere than your typical day spa. They're just a little less private, but still nice. We both had a great time and really enjoyed the weekend and each other.

(Sorry for the streaming consciousness)

FILE UNDER: THINKING

Get Away

It was kind of a rough morning. Both of us are a little short on sleep this week, and although The Wife is feeling somewhat better, she still feels sick most mornings. Lack of sleep and desperately wanting to be in that "blissful 2nd tri-mester" rumored to exist were just a little overwhelming this morning. But we survived.

She went against her book's advice and went to the salon today. But she didn't do anything too drastic and she seems to like it. She should, she looks totally hot.

We're going on a little 4th anniversary get-away weekend this weekend. We're looking forward to it. We need a little break. It should be a good time. We're going to - Note to The Wife: HA!!! You thought you were going to find out, didn't you? I know you're reading this before we leave for the weekend. Heh-heh. Nice try, but you'll just have to wait until we get there.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Blame Game

Okay, so I got called out on my lack of updates. Thanks, KD, I needed that.

The Wife went to her sister's last night and got a bunch of clothes and some other stuff. That's pretty exciting. The other sister was supposed to come too, but her husband didn't want her to for some reason. Oh well, more stuff for us! Yay. Oh, but then I got blamed for keeping her up so late last night. Even though she didn't even get home till after 10:30! I told her nice try, but it was her fault.

She's feeling mostly better, but there's been no "light switch" from feeling blah to feeling great. She's getting a little bit of a belly, but she says it's just all fat and not baby. I tell her it is baby and it's because of the baby and it's cute.

We put the boats in at the Lake this weekend and had a blast. The Baby had it's first boat ride. I napped in the boat and she napped on the dock. I realized I'd been in and out of consciousness for a few minutes so I figured I'd better see if she was asleep so she didn't burn. I hollered over at her to tell her to flip over or get out of the sun. She was on her stomach with her top's neck strap untied and held it with one hand as she stood up, leaning over to tie it. And her boob had just completely fallen out. Completely. She had no clue. Granted, there's really nobody around that could see anything, but I hopped out and stepped in front of her and told her to stand up. She's half asleep and she's just like, What? Why?. I told her to trust me, she stood up, I put her boob away, and she was like, "Oh, Thanks.". It was quite amusing. She had no idea. And she was so mostly asleep, that when we were laughing about it later, she didn't even remember exactly how it had happened. Ahh, My Wife, the pregnant exhibitionist.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Furry Stirrups

Wow, so I completely forgot to talk about last weeks Dr. appointment. This week has flown by.

Perhaps we were being punished for being 4 minutes late, but we sat in the examination room for over 45 minutes before the Dr. finally arrived. The furry stirrups were out for some reason and we thought about taking them for a test run, but decided we better not. Translated, that's: I tried to convince her how much fun it would be and she just kept saying no. The doc said everything checked out okay and that her Iron seemed fine. So, it must just be the normal first trimester blues, and she'll start feeling better any day now.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

What do Johnson County, KS and Superman have in common?

They can both turn back time! Congratulation to Johnson County for helping America go back in time. Back to the retarded age.

CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT [to ban gay marriage]
Total Number of Precincts 417
Precincts Reporting 417 100.0 %
Total Votes 97051
_____

YES 58368 60.14%
NO 38683 39.86%

Gee, while we're at it, why don't we make gay people use separate drinking fountains and ride in the back of the bus? Didn't we learn anything? Regardless of how you feel about gay marriage, amending the Constitution is wrong. IT'S THE CONSTITUTION. In 50 years (hopefully sooner), they're going to look back at this and call us fools. *sigh*

FILE UNDER: THINKING

Iron Woman

The Wife was asleep when I got home at 7:30 pm. Poor thing. She's pretty much always tired. I hear a lot of women get that, but it seems a little extreme. I was talking to a friend tonight who recently had her third child and she said she was more tired than normal with the third. So they checked her iron and she had a deficiency. Once they got her some extra iron, she felt quite a bit better. We've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so we'll ask them to check her iron. Or, maybe it's just the normal amount of tired and we just don't know what to expect.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Saving Myself

I don't hold newborn babies. I even shy away from holding babies in general, but I don't hold newborn babies. I won't lie and try to be macho. It's partially because it's kind of scary. But a big part of it is that I want the first baby that I hold, especially newborn baby that I hold, to be my baby. (and yes, by my, I mean our, meaning The Wife and me) So you see, it really boils down to the fact that I'm saving myself.

I tried to explain that to our friends tonight when I wouldn't hold their baby that was just born today. I'm not entirely sure they understood, but I asked them not to take offense. He was a very cute baby. Very cute. His Wife was praising the epidural all night long. It's one of the first 5 words she says to everyone she talks to. She apparently had a pretty easy time, especially after the epidural. He told me the doctor arrived, took off her coat, put on her gown, put on her gloves, and literally turned around just in time to catch the little bugger. A little to close, if you ask me, but makes for an amusing story.

Oh, and speaking of babies. The Wife's sister, the one with the 8-year-old and the 2-year-old triplets, yah, she's pregnant. She's due 4 days after The Wife. That makes 5 kids. Wow. Out. Of. Control.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Surprise Ending

Wow. So I called my dad Thursday morning before Easter weekend. I told him we were worried about being around cigarette smoke now that The Wife is pregnant and especially after The Baby comes. I told him we were thinking of sleeping in the apartment when we visited. He said he completely understood and we could stay in the apartment if we wanted, but he also said he'd just go outside to smoke. I was completely blown away. I mean, he goes outside when he comes here, but I just didn't think he'd do that at his own house. He even said maybe this would be a helpful incentive for him to quit. I thought to myself that if death or emphysema wasn't enough incentive, I'm not sure a grandchild would help, but you never know. It was such a relief to have talked to him about it. We went down there last weekend and had a great time.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Baby Buddies

Pregnancy Partners. Kiddie Co-horts. Parent Pals. Okay, I'm done. For now.

Our kidless-couple friends are having a baby! Yay. So fun. They were part of the gang we told at dinner the day after we found out. They rode with us and on the way home, they kept saying, "We're just not ready yet. We'd be okay if it happened, but we're just not ready." Well, apparently the conversation continued after we dropped them off and ended up as, "Okay, let's start trying."

They think she's about four weeks along, which would put them about six weeks behind The Wife.

Infant Imitators. Toddler Teams. Okay, now I'm really done.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Smoking Grandparents

I'm not sure how to approach my dad about his smoking now that The Wife is pregnant and especially once The Baby gets here. We go to visit him about once a month, especially during the summer. He lives on a lake, so it's a nice weekend getaway. But he smokes like a chimney and not only is it just annoying and irritating, everything stinks when we come home. (It makes me sad and embarrassed to think about how bad I must've smelled as a child.) Also, he has heart problems, and my bet is that he's only a few years away from emphysema. I'm just not sure if he can quit, or wants to quit, for that matter. The good news is that half of his basement is an apartment with a separate entrance and it doesn't reek of smoke. The bad news is his brother and my cousins also frequently go to his house and they stay in the apartment.

I just don't know where to start because I know how he is and it's not only going to hurt his feelings, but it's going to piss him off royally, because that's just how he is. It's not something that would ruin our relationship, we're too close for that. But he will be pissed. I suppose I could lie and say that The Wife or I or The Baby have developed an allergy to smoke. But that seems kind of chicken-shit.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Twins (no, not us)

So I went to see a co-worker's newborn twins today, a boy and a girl. They are very cute. They are very tiny. They are very scary. I can't believe we have to be responsible for such a tiny person. Then we went to some friends with two kids, two well-behaved kids, mind you. And now I can't believe we have to be responsible for teaching this very tiny person stuff. Stuff like manners and boogers and sex and drugs and sharing (no, not sharing drugs) and what to eat and what not to eat and such. And then there's the whole being less selfish thing. *Sigh*

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Honey-Flavored Nut-Roundies, Anyone?

I guess The Wife had dry heaves for the first time today. Man, about the only thing worse than throwing up is the dry heaves. You still have to go through all the motions, but you don't feel any better, nor do you feel like you accomplished anything since there's nothing to show for it.

The other new thing is her volume. She's normally one of those petite sneezers that makes you wonder why they even bother. You know, a teeny, squeaky little, pit-zew, instead of a roaring, WAAA-CHOOOOO, like me. Well, her sneezes are sounding louder, and thus, more gratifying. Her burps are rivaling mine. But so far, she's managed to keep from ripping a big 'ol fart while I'm around. I know it's only a matter of time.

Here's the weird thing. At the dinner table tonight, I don't really know why, or what happened, but she made this noise like she was going clubbing. You know, like a Whoo-whoo. She tried to play it off, but I was laughing to hard, which made her laugh, so she couldn't come up with a good excuse.

Then she started talking about how much she liked salad, which then got her thinking about food, so she shared with me how she figures Honey Nut Cheerios are a staple food for all pregnant women. Apparently several other pregnant women she's spoken to have a hankerin' for Honey Nut Cheerios. With fruit or without, dry or with milk. You name it. Oh by the way, this is after she described why Milk must be the perfect beverage. (She who used to have to force herself to finish her milk.) Anyway, she told me how it was my husbandly duty to make sure she has an endless supply of Honey Nut Cheerios. Now, we frequently purchase the off-brand bag cereals, so I asked if the generic brand was okay. She said, "Honey-Flavored Nut-Roundies?". Yes, dear, I think that's what they're called. Now there' s a good name for a cereal. I mean, who wouldn't rush right out and buy a bag of Honey-Flavored Nut-Roundies? I hear your mouth watering now. Of course, I can't attribute that part to the pregnancy. She's always had a knack for coming up with funny names for things when she can't think of what they're really called.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Ramblings

My buddy called me Friday evening, his wife's due in just a couple weeks. He wanted to make sure he wasn't the only one that sometimes just completely freaks out and thinks of all the terrible things that could happen and goes into a bit of a panic. I re-assured him that I sometimes do the same thing. It's funny he called me about it, because I was just thinking about why I think about such crappy things. I came to the conclusion that it's my sub-conscious, preparing me to deal with bad things and that it unfortunately goes a bit overboard. I shared that with him, and he thought that made some sense.

So we watched the National Geographic show, In The Womb on Friday night. It was very informative, I recommend it. Warning, I recommend watching the last 10 minutes with your eyes closed. Unless you want to see close-ups of that gal giving birth while standing up, leaning over the hospital bed. That part just re-assured the fact that I'll need to stay near the head of the bed, and might even have to keep my back to the foot of the bed. Sorry if that makes me a wimp, but that's just a little too much for me.

The Wife and I always used to take turns stealing covers from one another in the night when we had a Twin bed, and even when we had a Queen. Ever since we got a King, it really hasn't been a problem. Not that I'm aware of anyway. But with her internal thermostat off, she goes from hot to cold pretty quickly. I could've fried eggs on her stomach yesterday. Except it might be hard to get them out of her belly button. Anyway, she figured out one reason she may be getting so hot at night. She realized that when I get hot at night and get rid of the covers, they sometimes end up on her. So we've done a 180 in the covers department.

Sorry for the lack of cohesiveness of this post.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Attitude Explained

So The Wife has a pretty good theory about why some kids get such an attitude at certain ages. She figures that they remember all the power they had while in the womb, at least on a sub-conscious level. They must figure if they had enough power to make mommy vomit, make her need to sleep all the time, make her boobs hurt, etc. when they were only the size of a piece of corn that they must really be in charge now that they've grown up some. It's an interesting theory, I think there may be something to it.

Today, someone was telling me about a show on National Geographic Channel called "In The Womb". They said that REM occurs in babies at 8 months, which would indicate they have dreams at 8 months. It's on several times this weekend, I'm going to try to watch it.

Today is another first, but not a good one. The Wife has passed from nausea to actually throwing up. Bummer.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Where do you keep your leftovers?

Well, I'm pretty sure The Baby's Polish, and it's rubbing off on The Wife. This is where I found the leftovers after dinner tonight.

Now, I have to be fair (so I don't have to sleep on the couch tonight). She got off work early today and went to the grocery store, fed the dogs, made dinner, washed the dishes (I helped a little), and wrote me a very sweet note. And after the crappy day I had, this was perfect timing. But come on, putting leftovers in the cabinet? That's funny, and I can't just let it go.

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Title Goes -->HERE<--

It was a great weekend. My dad came up Saturday and stayed the night. We didn't do much, just hung out, but it was good. The Wife had to work for a bit on Saturday, that sucked a little, but then we went out to eat and had fun hanging out with my dad.

Sunday consisted of going to the dog park, doing some stuff around the house, and just hanging out, watching MU prevail over KU (yay!). It was just a good time hanging out with The Wife, being lazy and silly.

Today was a bad nausea day for her, but it seems to be improving tonight. I wish there was a way to help, but there doesn't seem to be, so I just try to do chores and stuff. If you've got any home remedies, let me know. And no, I'm not talking about DMB or Black Crows kind of remedy.

FILE UNDER: ABOUT ME, PRE-PREGNANCY

Some Relief

I did go with The Wife to her first appointment with the OB her friend recommended. I'm really glad I did. The Doctor and her nurse answered so many of our questions, even some we didn't know we had. They gave us the manual and everything. Okay, so it's not so much the manual as a starter kit, but still, it's all very good information. It was quite a relief. I think now we both feel quite a bit better.

Someone also loaned me a book titled something like, She's Having A Baby And I'm Having A Breakdown. I haven't started it yet, but it came highly recommended, so we'll see. I haven't looked at her "What To Expect..." book yet, but I have been reading some of her "Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy". It seems to be pretty good.

It seems like she's a little less nauseas and tired, but it's not completely gone. Hopefully that will continue to improve.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Pole-ar Opposites

The Wife was all over the charts last night. While I was convincing her it would be good for her and the dogs to go for a walk, she whined and pouted like I imagine a child would if you were trying to convince them to go to school on a Saturday. This behavior is an interesting mix of extremely cute and relatively annoying (love you, baby). Once she caved (don't underestimate my persuasiveness) and we started the walk, she was skipping down the sidewalk with the dogs, giddy as could be.

She has her first appointment with her friend's recommended OB tomorrow. I'm thinking I'll go with her if she doesn't mind. I don't want to invade her privacy, and maybe I'll be bored, but I'm hoping the OB has lot's of information to give us. I kind of feel like we're still in the dark and I'm naively waiting for someone to hand us the manual.

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To Blog, or not to Blog (and why and who)

When I found out The Wife is pregnant, I started taking notes on my Treo 600 about all the things that were happening. After a day or two, I got to thinking it would be nicer to have this somewhere other than a text-only memo entry. So that is the primary reason I started this Blog, to keep track of all the funny, weird, scary, sad stuff that is going on as we enter into this thing called parenthood. So for now, this is primarily just a chronology of events. I'm still not entirely sure who my target audience is or will be.

FILE UNDER: ABOUT ME

Somebody "nose" it's your birthday

This is the picture we used for the birthday cards we sent a couple years back. It was a blast taking the picture. We put peanut butter on the little noise makers, but they wouldn't keep them in their mouths. But they did get peanut butter on their noses and The Wife snapped the picture just as they turned to each other and touched noses.

FILE UNDER: DOGS RULE

Operation "Baby Announcement": Photos

(PHOTOS REMOVED)

Here are the 5 photos I snapped when we made the announcement. Sorry the last 2 are blurry, I should've used a tripod. NOTE: The slide show doesn't seem to be keeping them in the correct order (guess I'm having a Polish moment), so you may just want to cycle through them manually.

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Congratulations, It's a Pea

I went with The Wife for the sonogram today. The Baby is about the size of a pea and there's nothing visually distinguishing about it. But, I did hear a few beats of the heart. That was pretty cool. She said the heart rate was good, I think she said about 140, but I don't recall for sure. She said 7 weeks sounds about right and they're sticking with 10/16 but I'm not budging from my 10/22. Those doctors think they know everything! We'll see about that.

Now we just have to start figuring out things like, Will The Wife keep doing personal training?, Are we going to try to get into a different house?, etc. These conversations will have to wait until we're not quite so tired and when she's feeling less nauseas.

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Operation "Baby Announcement": Success

Well, the weekend went off with a bang. We got our plan from someone who'd posted on eHow.com. We got everyone on the couch for a family photo, got everyone settled in, and I said, "Okay everyone, smile and say [The Wife]'s pregnant!". I had the camera set to take 5 pictures in quick succession. It's pretty cool. You can see how everyone was prepared for the picture in the first shot and then in each following shot you get to see everyone's reaction (and they were all good reactions). Maybe I'll post them someday if I get my own server setup.

We played cards and ate; the nieces and nephews ran around and played; the women shopped a bit; The Wife got lot's of advice from her sisters and mom (I think she really appreciated and needed that). Although I have to admit, I'm a bit skeptical of the advice that she shouldn't drink our water because we have a water softener. But, who knows? I'll have to do some research on that. Best I can tell, a good time was had by all.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Alien Baby

My buddy brought his 3-D sonogram pictures to lunch today. The technology behind these pictures is very cool and I'm sure his baby is going to be the 2nd cutest ever in the whole world, but damn those 3-D sonograms look FREAKY!

He then proceeded to tell me how much they spent on furniture for the baby. I think I heard my ass cheeks slam shut just before my wallet let out a blood-curdling scream. I knew this was going to be an expensive endeavor, but damn.

I cleaned like a mad-man today, Martha Stewart, eat your heart out (in your so-called "prison" "cell"). I've got a few more things to finish up before the family arrives tomorrow. It doesn't sound like my Grandma is coming, and my dad is on the fence, so I may have to tell them over the phone. That kind of sucks, but oh well. They'll still be just as excited. We're still trying to decide how to tell those who do come. We've narrowed it down to a couple ways, I guess we'll just play it by ear.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Mail-to-Blogger (3rd try)

This is just a test to see if I can email a blog entry.

FILE UNDER: GEEK

Sooner or Later?

Well, Monday's sonogram won't tell us the gender since she's not that far along, but we did talk about whether or not we want to know ahead of time. I figure I'm going to be surprised either way, so I may as well know ahead of time so planning is easier. The Wife isn't sure. She kind of wants to wait until birth, but sees the benefit of knowing ahead. I guess we'll figure that one out later.

She called me this afternoon to give me permission to tell my co-workers. This is, of course, because she couldn't hold it in any longer and told her co-workers. I actually didn't tell anyone because I had a very busy afternoon and not much time for chit-chat. That, and I think I want to wait until after Monday's sonogram. There's a good chance that's going to totally freak my shit. In a good way...I think.

We also talked about needing to get our budget in order and add the baby into it so we don't spend ourselves into the poor house buying excessive unnecessary baby stuff.

Oh, I'd tell you how weird her dreams have gotten since she's pregnant, but that'd be a lie. She's always had the craziest dreams you've ever heard. And it's mind-boggling how much detail she remembers. That's what she should blog about, her dreams.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

The Wife (Bimbo Version)

Well, that's probably a little harsh of a term. But she definitely is acting odd.
TW: "Well, I'm off to work."
Me: "Really, your gonna be there way early."
TW: "I am? What time do I normally leave for work?"

She's just not normally that flighty. Then a bit later when she's getting the dogs ready to go outside potty, she fell into the dishwasher. She just kinda looked at me like, did you see that?

She called me this afternoon and was upset because someone was bitching about letting her off work on Monday, and that she couldn't get in to see the new OB for almost two weeks, and she was worried that she was doing something wrong and nobody was telling her what to do. Deep breaths, baby, calm down. So I told her she probably needed to tell her work that she's pregnant so that maybe they'll be more understanding about needing time off. They probably think she's interviewing somewhere, they know she hates her job. I told her we'd probably get to talk to someone on Monday when we do the sonogram, and if not, we'd make an appointment to talk to our current Dr. before then. I called the new OB and got the appointment bumped up to one week away, so I think that helped. I tried my best.

The interesting thing is, she admitted that logically, she knows everything's cool, but emotionally, she can't help but be a bit out of control. Amazing, she's even logically illogical.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD, THE WIFE

Pickles and Potatoes

Sunday night she said my baked potatoes were really good, better than the one at the restaurant on Saturday. Monday night she inhaled her share of the mashed potatoes I made, and a few bites of mine, too. And she kept saying how good they were.

Then there was this morning.

Me: "Do you want me to make you a lunch?"
TW: "No pickles."

No pickles? We weren't even talking about pickles. I mean, sure, we had pickles on our sandwiches last week, but there had been no pickle discussions at all this morning, let alone this week.

To summarize, Potatoes good, Pickles bad.

P.S. Did I mention her sense of smell has gone through the roof to the point where she could probably sniff out pot in a jar of peanut butter?

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This is SICK...

...which would be great if we were up a mountain and I had a board strapped to my feet. Unfortunately, it's just that her nausea has begun. I guess there's not much I can do, which sucks.

The Dr's office confirmed that The Wife is pregnant. Of course they just did the same damn pee-test she'd already done four times. Did I mention she took four pregnancy tests? They want to do a sonogram next week. They think she's 4-6 weeks and that a sonogram will help to see if the size matches their guess. Seems early to me, but what do I know. Our current regular Dr. offered to be her OB, but I think she'd prefer having a girl Dr.

4-6 weeks? Shit, I've lost over a month of planning!

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

Shh...it's a secret

We told a party of 12 that we're pregnant one day after we found out. We figure one couple hates us now, since we were the last two 'kidless' couples.

The Wife took her 4th test this morning and failed...err, I mean passed with flying colors. Two of them to be exact, Blue and parallel. So we figured we'd tell our closest friends and family. They are close enough to us, that if something ever went wrong, we'd want and need their support, so we wanted to tell them right away. Surprisingly enough, we were able to round them all up and go out to dinner in the matter of a few hours. The cool thing is, we typically can't plan a get together because everyone's so busy, but it all just came together on short notice. We'll have to figure out how to do the families. They're all spread out a few hours in different directions and we'd like to tell them in person.

Anyway, our friends are excited, even the 'kidless' one's. We'll start telling more people as soon as we feel more comfortable that everything is going well. Oh, crap. I just realized I told all of you. Well, good thing nobody's reading this blog yet. If you stumble across this, Shh...it's a secret.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

The Big News

I get a text message from The Wife while I'm at a Happy Hour. The plan is to leave the house at 6:30 for a hockey game, and she asked me to come home a bit earlier than planned. I'm thinking she wants to talk about her work because she doesn't care for it much and keeps thinking of changing jobs. (I'd actually left work before I got her email about her not coming along because she didn't want to be in a smoky bar.) When she tells me to sit down, I realize she's going to tell me she's pregnant. "Wow", I said. Followed by, "I told you that was a bad time to have sex!". Yah, I know, I'm a smooth operator. Luckily, she's got a great head on her shoulders, and doesn't take it the wrong way. She's taken 3 pregnancy tests in the past hour and has another for in the morning just to be sure. Obsessive-Compulsive much? This is a year or two sooner than we were thinking, but like they say, if you wait till you're ready, you never will be.

I get a phone call from a co-worker not 5 minutes after she's told me and we've decided not to tell anyone. I damn near told him! I was dying to share it with someone.

So it's off to the hockey game to hang out, not tell our friends, and not panic...yet.

So this is the reason I'm starting my blog. We'll see how long I stick with it, and where else it may go.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD