Monday, March 14, 2005

Honey-Flavored Nut-Roundies, Anyone?

I guess The Wife had dry heaves for the first time today. Man, about the only thing worse than throwing up is the dry heaves. You still have to go through all the motions, but you don't feel any better, nor do you feel like you accomplished anything since there's nothing to show for it.

The other new thing is her volume. She's normally one of those petite sneezers that makes you wonder why they even bother. You know, a teeny, squeaky little, pit-zew, instead of a roaring, WAAA-CHOOOOO, like me. Well, her sneezes are sounding louder, and thus, more gratifying. Her burps are rivaling mine. But so far, she's managed to keep from ripping a big 'ol fart while I'm around. I know it's only a matter of time.

Here's the weird thing. At the dinner table tonight, I don't really know why, or what happened, but she made this noise like she was going clubbing. You know, like a Whoo-whoo. She tried to play it off, but I was laughing to hard, which made her laugh, so she couldn't come up with a good excuse.

Then she started talking about how much she liked salad, which then got her thinking about food, so she shared with me how she figures Honey Nut Cheerios are a staple food for all pregnant women. Apparently several other pregnant women she's spoken to have a hankerin' for Honey Nut Cheerios. With fruit or without, dry or with milk. You name it. Oh by the way, this is after she described why Milk must be the perfect beverage. (She who used to have to force herself to finish her milk.) Anyway, she told me how it was my husbandly duty to make sure she has an endless supply of Honey Nut Cheerios. Now, we frequently purchase the off-brand bag cereals, so I asked if the generic brand was okay. She said, "Honey-Flavored Nut-Roundies?". Yes, dear, I think that's what they're called. Now there' s a good name for a cereal. I mean, who wouldn't rush right out and buy a bag of Honey-Flavored Nut-Roundies? I hear your mouth watering now. Of course, I can't attribute that part to the pregnancy. She's always had a knack for coming up with funny names for things when she can't think of what they're really called.

FILE UNDER: PRE-PARENTHOOD

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